


I'm So Sorry

by writingawaymylife



Series: Broken Boys [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Gen, Isaac Feels, M/M, Mentions of the past, Spoilers for Teen Wolf Season 3 episodes 4 and 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-16 11:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingawaymylife/pseuds/writingawaymylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isaac never thought it would come to this..and Derek?  Well Derek..he just tried to do what was best for his beta..or..he thought it was what was best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm So Sorry

Isaac thought that he had experienced the worst of the pain with his father. After the kanima killed his dad…Isaac finally felt free. He had Derek, Scott and even kind of Stiles. Together they would find a Erica and Boyd and become the pack they should be.

Except Erica was dead. Killed by the alpha pack. Boyd had changed and after they had found him on the full moon..he stayed away. Stiles and Scott turned to figuring out why everyone was suddenly dying in Beacon Hills and if the alpha pack had caused those as well. It was getting bad again, but Isaac had his alpha. That’s what kept him grounded. If he had Derek then he’d be okay.

He still had bad days, but they weren’t as bad, until of course the twins came to school. He didn’t understand what they wanted with him but he knew it wasn’t good. One beat up the other and made it look like Isaac had done it. Isaac was pissed. To make matters worse he had detention and had to stock the janitor’s closet with Allison. She was being nice to him, but he wasn’t sure of whether not to trust her or not. He didn’t understand her involvement now and she wasn’t offering any explanations.

He didn’t like the closet either. It hit too close to home for Isaac. He hated how anxious he felt when he and Allison were restocking. He had left the door open, but then someone had closed it. Well not someone, he knew it was the twins. He clawed and pounded at the door barely hearing Allison calling his name. He was screaming. He wanted out. Flashes of his father, the freezer..Isaac was losing control. The closet, his father, the freezer, the screams…

The next thing he knew he was on the ground and Scott was holding him there. Isaac backed up against the wall shaking as he looked up at him and Allison. "I-I’m s-sorry. I-I didn’t mean to!" Allison shook her head saying it was ok, even though he could see the scratches on her arm. He had done that..he had given in to the monster. Scott knew it hadn’t been his fault though. 

Together the three of them turned things back on the twins though. They made them mad and Isaac loved seeing the two of them get in trouble. Of course they came back. He was sure that he and Scott could take them on.

Until they combined into some super freak of an alpha.

Shit got worse after that. Then some man..Scott had called him decalion? Well he had come in and the twins..they seemed to follow him. The battle had ended before it had really even started, but Scott and Isaac knew it wasn’t over.

That night Isaac headed back to Derek’s place. It had been pouring out, so he thought he had heard wrong as he was shaking out his jacket.

"You can’t stay here anymore Isaac."

"Its not going to work out"

Isaac stood there frozen to the spot. He couldn’t detect a lie in Derek’s words, but still..

"Derek you’re kidding!"

He laughed, but it was forced. Derek wouldn’t look at him though. So Isaac tried again but was met with the same results.

"Now that Cora’s here…its not going to work Isaac. Find somewhere else."

"Derek what did I do something wrong?"

Isaac knew how pathetic he sounded. How hurt he seemed..how vulnerable he was, but his alpha…was he abandoning him?

Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

"You’re doing something wrong by still being here!!" Derek roared as he threw a glass at Isaac’s face. 

If he had known any better he would have thought he was back in his father’s house. Isaac swallowed and stared at Derek for a moment before grabbing his bag and running out of Derek’s place.

As he ran his tears blended in with the rain. No one had to know how much he cared about his alph….Derek. It had been too good to be true, he should have known better.

That night, Scott took him in. He didn’t ask and Isaac didn’t say more than he just needed a place to crash. He could feel the pity rolling off Scott for him. Isaac was too hurt to say anything though. He curled up that night on Scott’s floor surrounding himself in blankets and wanting to forget about werewolves and alphas and one man in particular.

———-

Derek sighed as he sat down at his table. Cora was in bed leaving him with plenty of time to think.

Had he really just done that?

The look in Isaac’s eyes when he threw the glass at him. Derek knew Isaac’s history with his father. It was part of the reason he had done it. It had been the only way to send the point home. 

He was trying to keep Isaac safe, but inside it still made Derek sick that he had done that to his only beta. His beta, the one he had spent so much time and energy taking care of, teaching, watching him grow.

Derek let his head fall into his hands. He wanted to explain to Isaac about his visit with the alphas, but he had known that his boy would have just stayed. Isaac had never deserted Derek and this was how he repaid him?

He had put Isaac through so much since he had turned him. Granted, Isaac had asked for the bite..but still it was Derek’s fault.

Only a week before he had been helping Scott hold Isaac down in a tub of ice water, almost killing the boy to find memories about where Erica and Boyd were. Not that it mattered now with one dead and the other staying far away. Derek remembered that night, when he had taken a still cold Isaac back here, to their home..now just his home.

The young beta had been so cold in his arms. Derek had held him close that night, doing his best to keep Isaac warm, make him feel safe. How he wished he could go back in time to that night. When his beta had clung to him like he was the only thing left that mattered.

But then again..Derek probably was the only thing that mattered anymore.

He had even ruined that for Isaac.

Issac had trusted him.

Isaac had depended on him.

Derek got up and pushed his chair to the ground snarling. He just kept hurting everyone that cared about him. He hurt everything he touched..everyone he cared about. 

Derek vowed to himself that night. He would fix this.

He would get his beta back.

His Isaac..

HIS.


	2. Never Been Good At This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Derek hurt Isaac, the only one who had ever tried for him. He has to fix this not just for Isaac, but for himself

Derek didn’t sleep much that night. Scratch that he hadn’t slept at all. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Isaac. The fear on his face when Derek had thrown the glass, the way his voice had cracked when he asked if he had done something wrong. It was too much. Derek was sick to his stomach at the thought. He had known Isaac’s past.

After the Jackson showdown, when everything had calmed down, Derek and Isaac had spent many nights in his apartment just sitting and talking. Derek had always felt a stronger connection to Isaac than his other betas. Maybe it was because the boy had stuck around. Those nights, Isaac had spoke in quiet tones about his father. The nights where he would enter his house in fear waiting for the moment when his father would tell him he had done something wrong. The punishment that would follow and frighten him. The night where Isaac thought he was going to freeze to death in fridge his basement, where no one would ever find him. 

Every story, every punishment sent waves of pain rolling of Isaac and hitting Derek. After their talks Derek would lay on the couch with Isaac curled up on top of him. Derek would rub his young beta’s back watching the way his chest rose and fell and for the first time in a while the boy had looked relaxed and unafraid. The fact that he had been able to give his beta that comfort stirred something deep in him. Derek tried to push the feelings away, tried to tell himself that it was nothing, but his wolf knew.

The night he sent Isaac away, his wolf howled and snarled at him. He whined for Isaac, tried to force his way through Derek and make him go get the boy. Instead though, he had sat by the window watching the rain fall and praying that Isaac had shelter somewhere. 

Around one am he got a text from Scott

Scott: Isaac’s crashing with me. I don’t know what you said or did to him but you really wanted to hurt him didn’t you jackass?

 

Derek sighed as he looked at the text. He typed out a quick thank you, his hair standing on edge as Scott told him to stay away from Isaac. 

Like he didn’t already know that? He had sent him away for a reason.

Though his wolf was raging at the idea of Scott telling him to stay away from Isaac. His wolf needed Isaac.

Derek needed Isaac.

——

The next couple of days were rough. Derek’s wolf was at war with him. He found himself wandering up to the high school around the time classes were done. He’d stand off in the distance watching as Scott, Isaac and Stiles practiced lacrosse with their team. He even stood outside Scott’s house in the night listening as Scott tried to get Isaac to talk. His beta was quiet for the most part. 

Derek hated himself every day for causing his boy so much pain. He needed Isaac back. He was going to get him back where he belonged. 

So Derek waited.

And waited.

And he kept waiting for a moment when Isaac would be alone so they could talk. He felt his wolf getting impatient, but he had kept calm and soon he was rewarded.

Friday night. Scott, Stiles and Isaac were in Scott’s room planning some new attack on the twin alpha’s that went to school with them. They had ordered a pizza and when the box was empty Isaac had offered to take it outside to the trash. Scott had mumbled a thank you as he stuffed another crust into his mouth. Isaac had laughed and nodded before heading downstairs.

Derek watched quietly from the shadow of a nearby tree. His heart had ached as he watched Isaac smile happily, a real smile that someone else had given him. Jealousy flared in Derek. He should be the one giving Isaac so much happiness. 

Isaac slipped outside, opening the trash can and stuffing the pizza box inside. Derek watched as the boy looked up at the moon for a moment before starting to walk back to the house. Derek stepped forward and in his haste he managed to crack a twig. 

Isaac froze his eyes darting back and forth before they spotted Derek in the shadows. Derek could see how Isaac was almost paralyzed. 

"Isaac" Derek spoke softly as he walked forward. The beta looked at him and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What the hell do you want". His voice stone cold, making Derek’s wolf howl in frustration. He wanted to shake the boy for sounding so cruel, but he bit his tongue.

"I want you to come home Isaac. Where you belong."

Isaac was already shaking his head and stepping back. "You’re kidding right? You kicked me out Derek! You put me out on the street when I needed you the most, or have you already forgotten that? You threw that glass at me like him" 

Derek swallowed hard. As much as he hated to admit it Isaac was right.

Isaac was turning to go now. 

Derek couldn’t let him do that.

Derek ran, pinning Isaac up against the side of the house. Isaac struggled with his former alpha, but he couldn’t push Derek off. "Get off me! Stop it Derek leave me alone!!"

Derek noted the change of anger to fear in Isaac. How could he have done this to his boy? He had made his beta, Isaac so afraid of him so quickly. 

"Shh Isaac, its me, Isaac stop its me" he murmured pressing his face into the crook of Isaac’s neck.

The boy’s scent was overwhelming him. It was sweet and tangy, and it smelt like home to Derek. Isaac wouldn’t stop screaming though.

And then Derek was being grabbed and pulled off of Isaac, thrown to the ground near the trash can. 

Derek got up snarling as he looked at the offender.

Scott was snarling back at him as he came closer. Stiles, was helping Isaac, who was still shaken, get up and into the house. Derek tried to follow them, but Scott was too quick for him.

The two wolves fought, but Derek wasn’t on his game which allowed Scott to pin him easily.

"Stay the hell away from him you hear me? You told him you were done being his alpha. You pushed him away Derek. You can’t just force your way back into his life after doing that! You try to pull something like this again and I will kill you."

He let Derek go after that, watching until he had decided that Derek was definitely leaving.

Derek and Isaac both cried that night.

One because of the pain of being separated from his boy

The other, because of the fear that the one person he had ever truly cared about had instilled in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments are welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

In the weeks following Derek's surprise visit to Scott's house, Isaac had finally started to relax. He didn't jump anymore when Stiles jeep made a weird noise. He didn't cry out when he went jogging in the woods and a twig snapped. In fact he was pretty much back to normal.

Well...except for the nightmares. They were the one thing he couldn't get rid of no matter how hard he tried. Every night he'd go to bed and pray that he could have a peaceful sleep and more often then not his prayers weren't answered. Scott had tried to so hard to help, but Isaac knew there was nothing he could do. Isaac had slept on the floor, then in Scott's bed, then with Scott in Scott's bed. The last one, while he had been grateful for the warmth and the anchor, it was just too awkward. So he had finally settled for pretending to fall asleep early each night so that Scott would pass out. Once Scott was definitely out, Isaac would go out running in the woods, or training or whatever he could do to keep himself awake. He was exhausted as all hell the next morning, but he did his best to play it off. He knew he needed sleep soon especially with the full moon coming.

That was the other problem. Isaac didn't really have an anchor for the full moon. It used to be his dad when Isaac had still been in fear that he wasn't really dead, but after spending so much time with Derek, he had given up on that anchor. Now he felt lost. He could try and use Derek as an anchor he guessed, but it seemed so wrong. Derek had given up on him, and then had come back trying to force Isaac to come with him. Derek wasn't stable, and Isaac really needed stability right now.

\-----

The night of the full moon Isaac was quiet. Scott had gone off with Allison and Stiles, and Boyd was god knew where. Isaac was by himself for the night. He was anxious and restless and before he knew it, he was putting on his sneakers and going for his usual run. He needed to clear his head and keep himself awake. He couldn't risk "passing out" he didn't trust his wolf or body to really let that happen if his consciousness slipped. So Isaac ran, and of course ended up back at the Hale house.

"Gotta be fucking kidding me!" he swore at himself. He had plugged his ipod in and just ran. He should have known if he didn't focus he'd end up doing something stupid like this. Isaac ripped the plugs out of his ears and shoved the ipod in his pocket. He needed to turn back, had to go somewhere else. Jesus what had he been thinking? Did he want Derek to come find him? 

All thoughts were cut off when he heard the wolf howl. Isaac's whole body tensed. It wasn't Scott, definitely not Boyd. Isaac swallowed as he forced his body to start moving away from the sound.

The howl was louder this time. It was like he knew Isaac was trying to fight him. Isaac clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

"You gave me up. You turned your back on me! Stop calling me!!"

The howling didn't stop.

"Shut up!!! This isn't fair!! You pushed me away when I needed you!!! You left me!!! You can't just have me back whenever you want!!! Leave me alone!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!"

Isaac was shaking now. His arms wrapped tight around his body as he sunk to his knees. There was one last mournful howl and then it just stopped. Cut off.

Just like Isaac was cut off.

Isaac was crying, the ache inside him huge. He hadn't admitted it to himself. Hadn't accepted that Derek had truly done away with him. In the back of his mind he knew, but he had been playing a game with himself. Derek would show up he'd say. 

Derek had shown up, but this time Isaac had pushed him away.

It had been a mistake, but now? Now after screaming these words of hatred to his alpha..it was real wasn't it?

Isaac wasn't ready for it to be over. It was a realization that made him want to be sick. He couldn't let go of Derek. The more he thought about letting go the more his wolf howled in rage and pain. It begged him to go to his alpha, beg for forgiveness plead to be taken back. He needed Derek more than anything. 

Isaac ran. He ran faster than he probably ever had. He started howling too. At first no one answered him. He began to stop unsure. He couldn't pick up Derek's scent, couldn't feel him. Isaac's instincts were too messed up. He felt the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He howled desperately both him and his wolf working together to plead for his alpha. 

There was no answer.

Isaac collapsed where he was in the forest. He couldn't do it. Derek..Derek had finally given up. Isaac curled up on himself. His tears turned to hiccuping cries and those turned into full blown sobs. "I-I'm s-s-o s-orry" he choked out. He lay curled up on the forest floor, every part of his body letting go, giving up.

Without Derek, was there even a point to life?

Sure he had Scott, Boyd, and Stiles and maybe even Allison..but they couldn't...wouldn't understand. They weren't Derek. He needed Derek. 

Isaac closed his eyes. His wolf had settled down in its misery and so had he. It was over now, and Isaac didn't care how long he'd have to wait until death came for him. Hell he didn't care if Gerard suddenly reappeared and cut him in half. He just wanted it all to be over.

"Isaac?"

Isaac kept his eyes screwed shut. 

"Oh Isaac..."

Isaac opened an eye weakly. 

No

It wasn't him.

Couldn't be..

But then there were warm arms around him. He was being scooped up and pressed tight against a warm chest. "No" he whimpered softly. "You gave up on me...I tried to find you! You wouldn't answer me!" He sobbed and weakly pounded at Derek's chest. The alpha was quiet for a moment before pressing the trembling boy to him. "Shh oh Isaac. I never meant for this to happen. I was trying to protect you, but I was wrong. You need me and I need you. I messed up Isaac, but i'm not pushing you away anymore. I still want to be your alpha Isaac, I want you to come back home. You belong with me." 

Isaac looked up weakly his eyes meeting Derek's gentle ones. "How do I know you won't just shut me out the next time things get dangerous?" Derek pulled Isaac close and leaned in to peck his lips gently. Isaac gasped at the kiss before pushing back, whining softly when Derek pulled away.

"Does that help?" Isaac blushed and ducked his head in Derek's neck. "I don't know.." Derek chuckled softly and tipped Isaac's chin up to meet his eyes again. "Isaac, I thought it was a good idea to send you away. I couldn't lose you after everything that's happened. The moment you left I regretted my decision, but I couldn't make myself go after you because in some part of my head I persuaded myself it was right. Then I began stalking you like some crazed man, but I needed to know that you were always safe. The more I watched the more my wolf begged me to get you back. It took me forever, but the night I visited you at Scott's. The night you cried and pushed me away I realized how much I had truly hurt you, and I also realized that you Isaac, you are my mate. That's why I always need you near me. That's why i've been in so much pain since I pushed you away and maybe..maybe you've felt it too?"

Isaac's throat was dry. The more the explanation went on the more it made sense to Isaac. He had felt the same things Derek had felt. The nightmares...the need to be with him even though he was scared...it all clicked.

Isaac began to cry again, throwing his arms around Derek's neck. "I need you. Please" Derek held Isaac tight, pressing kisses to his cheeks and forehead whispering apologies.

\----

They stayed like that on the forest floor for a while just trying to compose themselves. The moon was starting to go down though and the sun coming up to take its place.

"We should go Isaac." Isaac bit his lip and nodded. "What about Scott?" Derek sighed. "Text him and tell him you're coming back to my place for the night. If he wants to fight he can talk to me." Isaac nodded letting Derek help him to his feet. They walked back to Scott's house, Derek waiting outside while Isaac ran upstairs and grabbed his stuff. He wrote Scott a note before sending him a text as well. After that he headed back to Derek. Derek took his bag and hoisted it onto his shoulder before looking at Isaac and reaching out his hand.

Isaac hesitated for a moment before taking Derek's hand. They made their way back to the loft in silence mostly. There were still so many things that needed to be talked about, sorted through. Isaac knew that this wasn't the end. He still had a lot to learn about being mates, and his alpha, but they could take it one day at a time. 

The loft hadn't changed much. Derek tugged Isaac with him to his bedroom. Isaac went easily enough. He watched as Derek dropped his bag by the bed before stripping down to his wife beater and boxers. The beta ducked his head blushing furiously. He heard the bed creak, but still found himself frozen.

"Isaac come here." Isaac moved quickly until he was standing right in front of Derek. He looked up slowly watching as Derek began undressing him until he was only in his briefs. Derek ran his fingers gently over some of the light scars that still remained from Isaac's father. Isaac closed his eyes and relaxed under Derek's touch. He was safe, with his alpha. 

"Isaac!" Isaac's eyes opened in surprise as he found himself in Derek's arms. "Isaac are you alright?" The beta looked up still blinking a little. "Wha...yeah..sorry" Derek stroked Isaac's cheek watching as the boy's eyes started to close again as he leaned into Derek's palm. "You haven't been sleeping". Isaac swallowed knowing it wasn't a question.

"Couldn't..nightmares" Derek quieted him and gently tucked him in under the covers before wrapping around the boy tightly. "Rest Isaac. I'm right here."

And for the first time in a while Isaac did. His eyes closed and he passed out snuggling into the warmth and love of his alpha, just how it was supposed to be. He knew it wasn't a happy ending, but he and Derek were getting off to a good start. They could figure out the rest together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of I'm So Sorry, but its only the end of the first series within Broken Boys. The next section is going to deal a lot with Derek and Isaac learning to trust each other and be mates and what that entails. Hope you enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm still very new to this site so I apologize if anything seems out of place or if I seem to have technical difficulties.
> 
> Please rate or message if you like this story!


End file.
